Diary of A Soldier

[*Note: All Characters and Incidents in this story are imaginary, and resemblance to any individual living or dead is purely coincidence]

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I walked down the lane surrounded by trees whose leaves were dried up. I used a stick to support my injured left knee. I was about to head-hunt yet somehow I managed to escape and was crying out of thirst and not a single drop of water was left in my bottle. I saw a flag waving high at a long distance and the antiquated path brought me to spot the object and later I recognized that it’s an old hovel. I got a sigh of relief. Limping on one leg I reached hovel’s door-step. No one was there to welcome me when I knocked the door, and therefore I cracked open the door and went inside. Venturing in I saw a lantern hanging on the rooftop, and a terrible scent caught my nose. I saw a shadow of a woman in the low light who clutched her son and was trying to conceal behind a chair. I moved near them and attempted to clarify my situation, but seeing my movement they crept back without hearing my words. I was stunned as I never encountered any individuals before who showed expression of fear looking at me. It was troublesome for me to comfort them. But somehow, I calmed her down. She was moist-eyed, and her painful eyes plainly reflected her helplessness and were in search for help. Dropping my stick down, I managed to straddle beside her. Alongside my knee pain, I was dying out of thirst. I saw a pot placed near me which was almost void; luckily I found some water. We both were silent, no one was there to break the silence, but someone had to take the first step. I greeted her with a Hi, and without waiting for her reply, I introduced myself as a soldier and showed my Identity Card to gain her faith. And with a sweet voice she asked my name, my natives and how did I reach this unknown land, and I replied accordingly. After I finished my replies, I asked about her and she introduced herself as a lady who had been staying along with her son in this hovel for last 8months since the war had begun. I didn’t dare to ask about her husband but she spoke without my input that her husband had died before 2years and she excessively expressed that it was not her fault for her husband’s death. The line “fault for her husband death” aroused my curiosity, what actually had happened to her. She elaborated the criticism she confronted being a widow, where her in-law’s tended to her as a witch pointing the finger at her for their child’s demise. Saying this she began to sob. I had no words for her as I was shocked thinking about those illiterate fools. My blood was streaming quick and if I had encountered her in-law at that time, I would have without a doubt strangled them to death. I then asked her why and how she reached this place. She answered in a weird tone that destiny brought her down to this place. She said that before the war had begun and after she lost her better half, she worked as a servant and some time as a sex worker to support her 2 years old son, as she was thrown out from her in-law’s house. She then said about the effort she gave to convince her in-laws that she was guiltless, and it isn’t her fault for their child’s passing, yet none was in her support. He died in an accident, who served as an engineer in an oil field and was a man of great stature. I could see she couldn’t stop crying, even her story too made me wet-eyed. She stood up and went out to refill the pot. I looked up the ceiling and tried to place myself in her circumstances. After a while I was offered a glass of water, I asked her another glass of water. Finishing the second glass we resumed our conversation. She stated that after 3 years of their marriage their son came to their life, but fate turned the picture around and bought never-ending darkness to their life as before the date of her delivery the little one lost his unseen father. I adopted a habit of writing since childhood. Her story made me so emotional that I couldn’t wait for more to pen down her words. As she got engaged in feeding her 2 years old son we had to stop the conversation. And she is now about to finish her story. HOLD UP! I just observed some shadows passing by. They are probably a group of five. They most likely tailed me and now they will execute me down. I am not worried about my life, but rather these innocent’s life concerned me, they would execute them too if they discover us together inside this hovel. I have the last option in my hand and this is to surrender myself and be a prisoner of war. They almost are near the entryway and now I am going to surrender myself for the sake of this family.

I shouldn’t have shot them. I am Arseny Kapriyanov, a decorated nation’s servant and I was among the group of five. I want to confess that we gunned them down. We were trailing him as he was a spy and was a threat to our nation and I believe no one should compromise on nation’s security. We fired a few rounds of bullets targeting him, but his fortune took his side and he escaped from our hand and reached this place. We never knew he was separated from anyone else, we thought the two innocent whom we just shot was with him. I know we are all human and we are all alike, made up of flesh and blood, however for the sake of my nation I have to gun him down and unfortunately for our misstep, the two innocents too lost their life. He was endeavoring to stand, holding his stick but we thought he will assault us and if we won’t have shot him he would have gunned us down. I can’t see the face of the little one; his innocent eyes will always disturb me in my future. I know there is no justice for killing innocents neither in the court of law nor in the court of God and I am ready to accept any punishment for my sin.

©animesh_sarmah

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